In Lotus

jodhpur

2010-07-21T14:48:00.000-07:00

Looking through the reviews of a compact camera Sigma DP2 I came across the link to the photo-gallery of Julie Mayfeng India&Nepal. Whether she really shoots with Sigma I'm not sure but the color is very vivid (post-processing applied I guess). That's due to Foveon sensor in the camera.

Jodhpur (Rajasthan, India) is known as the Sun City for the bright, sunny weather it enjoys all year. It is also referred to as the Blue City due to the blue-painted houses around the Mehrangarh Fort.

Dalai Lama: Who is Tiger Woods?

2010-02-23T08:09:00.000-08:00

In what was described as a "brief interview," the Dalai Lama told the Associated Press that he had never heard of Woods, who last week said he plans to explore anew the Buddhist teachings from his childhood.

When the matter was explained to the exiled Tibetan spiritual leader,he replied that "all religions have the same idea" about adultery.

"Whether you call it Buddhism or another religion, self-discipline, that's important," he said. "Self-discipline with awareness of consequences."

Actually the Dalai Lama's business is... a business. He just proves by such a reaction that he is a political figure rather than a buddist capable to deal with difficult and challenging issues. Very much of his words is a bland rhetoric and a popularity game.

In fact, buddism and other meditative practices are capable and very effective instruments to deal with sexual addiction problems. The Dalai Lama brushed off this Tiger's case as a matter of general religious issue. Well, it is the Dalai Lama, the statesman.

Humiliation of Tiger Woods

2010-02-22T06:35:00.000-08:00

Unexpectedly Tiger contributed to my blog with his confession on infidelity and even sex addiction.

Because my blog is focused on how to cope with sexual indulgence and how to diminish sexual desire I can't let it go without commenting.

Lotus sitting posture can help Tiger in his forthcoming therapy course to diminish sexual desire. But obviously this method can't be recognised by public because public cherishes sexual desire while critisizing it's outbursts in people who they have chosen as role models.

Classical Yoga Texts: Overview and Some Pathos

2009-09-23T08:59:00.000-07:00

Yoga legacy may be divided into 3 layers, roughly speaking.

1. "Yoga Sutras" by Patanjali

2. Goraksha's "Siddha Sidhanta Paddhati" and " Hatha Yoga Pradipika" by Svatmarama

3. "Gheranda Samhita" and "Shiva Samhita"

If you look through these texts without a bias then you'll see that all of them are predominantly meditative. Only "Gheranda Samhita" stands out of the crowd because it is a negligent and inaccurate variation of the earlier texts. It seems that the author of "Gheranda" didn't have any copy of "Yoga Pradipika" and put his verbal knowledge ( passed to him by his teacher) on paper which was no more than modified "Yoga Pradipika".

"Gheranda Samhita" is an interesting case because from the first sight it seems more exhausting in practical detail. It gives the bigger number of asanas ( 32) and mudras ( 25). It talks more about the conditions of yoga practice. But if you take a closer look at the text you'll see that much of this detail is pretty useless, incoherent and rather misguides than clarifies the subject.

Furthermore, while "Gheranda" adds second rate detail to the previous yoga texts, it spoils the important lines of "Hatha Yoga Pradipika" omitting or twisting their meaning.

When you realize that hatha yoga is a meditative practice then you'll see yoga in different light. What seemed complex would become more clear. You will become much more sensitive to the teachings of the first known yoga proponents like Patanjali, Goraksha and Svatmarama. You will realize that they are the best teachers you can take lessons from in our times when innovation obscures the core practice. And I have to say that it has become extremely difficult to approach original yoga practice in a practical way. So difficult that if you reveal the teaching of Svatmarama to the yoga practitioners in its true meaning then you'll be regarded as inadequate.

Bad Compiler Gheranda

2009-09-18T09:55:00.000-07:00

"Hatha Yoga Pradipika" by Svatmarama makes an impression of the original and thoroughly thought work. "Gheranda Samhita" is also regarded as one of the most important texts on yoga but to put it frankly it is in fact a replica of the "Hatha yoga Pradipika" and a bad one with the language and observations being of poor quality.

Gheranda ignored the division of asanas into 2 separate groups made by Svatmarama and united all of them in one list. The result of this faulty unification was that poses for health became as important as meditative poses given by Shiva ( which bear the yogic practice) and even began to dominate because of number. Later the amount of asanas grew to a big number. Siddhasana and lotus, which were initially cornerstones of hatha yoga practice, got lost and got to be associated with meditation -as if a different kind of practice. So, people have started to make difference between asanas and so called meditation in hatha yoga.

2 sets of asanas by Svatmarama, part 2

2009-09-17T09:07:00.000-07:00

Hatha Yoga Pradipika, translated by Pancham Sinh, [1914]

19. Being the first accessory of Hatha Yoga, âsana is described first. It should be practised for gaining steady posture, health and lightness of body.

20.I am going to describe certain âsanas which have been adopted by Munîs like Vasishtha, etc., and Yogîs like Matsyendra, etc.

Here is the first set of asanas, which I would call "given for health" by munis and yogis. Svatmarama explains 11 poses. The most important of them aim to impact abdomen area to improve digestion which is the main concern of yogis. They thought that good digestion was the gateway for healthy body. The best of these poses Paschimotanasana was even accepted by "Shiva Samhita" (classical yoga text) while others were ignored.

35.Śiva taught 84 âsanas. Of these the first four being essential ones, I am going to explain them here.

36.These four are:—The Siddha, Padma, Sinha and Bhadra. Even of these, the Siddha-âsana, being very comfortable, one should always practise it.

It seems ( surprisingly) that the introduction to asanas has just started with these two verses. This another set of poses is given by Shiva and is of unparalleled importance. They all seem to be of meditative nature. This meditative nature is probably derived from the "Yoga Sutras" of Patanjali. 2.46. Asana is steady and comfortable. 2.47. ( Achieved) by relaxation of effort and by coinciding with the Endless. So every living being has its asana. " There are as many poses as living beings." Out of all asanas Shiva taught 84.

40.Just as sparing food is among Yamas, and Ahimsâ among the Niyamas, so is Siddhâsana called by adepts the chief of all the âsanas.

41.Out of the 84 Âsanas Siddhâsana should always be practised, because it cleanses the impurities of 72,000 nâdîs.

42.By contemplating on oneself, by eating sparingly, and by practising Siddhâsana for 12 years, the Yogî obtains success.

43.Other postures are of no use, when success has been achieved in Siddhâsana, and Prâna Vâyû becomes calm and restrained by Kevala Kumbhaka.

45.There is no Âsana like the Siddhâsana and no Kumbhaka like the Kevala. There is no mudrâ like the Khechari and no laya like the Nâda (Anâhata Nâda.)

51.The Yogî who, sitting with Padmâsana, can control breathing, there is no doubt, is free from bondage.

Like a parrot Svatmarama praises siddhasana and lotus as well. These two asanas are the cornerstone of the practice and have to be practiced right from the beginning. The discrimination between 2 sets of asanas is obvious from the teachings of Svatmarama but this separation will become undistinguished later when Gheranda ( "Gheranda Samhita") unites all asanas in one list.

2 sets of asanas by Svatmarama

2009-09-15T04:08:00.000-07:00

When I realized the importance and superiority of lotus practice I then wondered why was it falling out of the asanas routine. The dynamic practice of the modern schools of yoga doesn't leave any space for lotus sitting which is considered as meditation and therefore refers to the later stages of the yogic way.

But my practical experience shows that lotus sitting is paramount and needed at the early stages. The multiple asanas routine has become so complex and demanding in the modern schools of yoga that combining of static lotus sitting and dynamic asanas is very problematic and requires decided compromises. So, on one radical side we have got BKS Iyengar who rejected separate meditation and on the other Aurobindo who rejected physical techniques though they both belong to the yoga tradition.

To find answers to my questions I looked through authoritative yoga texts. Svatmarama's "Hatha Yoga Pradipika" gave me even clearer explanation of the confusion.

To my surprise I found that Svatmarama's practice rotated not around multiple asanas ( as I presumed) but around purely meditative pose siddhasana. His praise of siddhasana is astounding and reminds me my zeal towards lotus.

Futhermore if you look more attentively at the text you will notice that Svatmarama gives 2 separate lists of asanas.

Patanjali vs Modern Schools of Yoga

2009-09-08T08:27:00.000-07:00

Patanjali's sequence:

1) sitting asana, stable and comfortable (preferably lotus or siddhasana)

2) pranayama

3) concentration (from mild to strong)

Modern yoga schools' sequence:

1) multiple asanas , basically unstable and uncomfortable

2) pranayama

3) meditation ( probably in lotus)

Integrative practice of lotus and pranayama is broken by the modern schools of yoga. Instead they practice multiple asanas and then pranayama. They rotate their practice around many asanas and pranayama but after that they don't know what to do. Whether to give up many asanas and concentrate on meditation ( very pity after so much effort!) or to combine both ( which is difficult to achieve because these practices each require total dedication and therefore will steal time from each other)?

sukhasana is a compromise

2009-08-18T09:36:00.000-07:00

Lotus and siddhasana are the main asanas in yoga and stand out of the asanas' crowd. First, they both make an impact on perineum area ( siddhasana more explicitly). Many asanas also can do the same. Sukhasana doesn't have this effect.

Second, they both can be performed for a long period of time ( for hours). You can't stay in other asanas for a long period of time. But you can in sukhasana ( which actually means "easy pose").

So "criss-cross applesauce" (sukhasana) is not at the same league as lotus and siddhasana. It is just a compromise for those who can't perform the more efficient sitting positions. To be more precise, in yogic specific technical sense sukhasana is not efficient but it is more appropriate for those whose approach is not sophisiticated technically. Say, in zen buddhism sukhasana is very popular.

summary of my blog so far

2009-08-18T09:17:00.000-07:00

1. I suffered from masturbation which became my addiction.

2. I practiced hatha yoga ( in my case Iyengar style) to cope and overcome the addiction.

3. Men are naturally inclined to sexual indulgence.

4. Hatha yoga wasn't enough to overcome masturbation in an addictive form.

5. Sitting in lotus brought an immediate effect. Stable practice led to a breakthrough - strong sexual desire diminished to a level when it was not harmful.

6. Lotus meditation leads naturally to pranayama and moola bandha. These 3 aspects are the one integral practice.

7. Realization that lotus practice is ignored in many ( if not in most) eastern modern practices or doctrines.

8. In fact, lotus practice was explicitly a core of yoga in the past. Now it has become implicit and overlooked.

Why has it happened? Why such a coherent integral practice of lotus meditation has been disintegrated?

Pesto Genovese-meditators' food.

2009-08-17T06:28:00.000-07:00

Recenly I learned by myself how to make pesto genovese. It's a pretty simple recepie which may require a bit of dedication. Italian style is something to acquire.

I used a blender at first ( which is absolutely OK) but then found a wooden mortar ( adds some authenticity to a process).

Ingredients: basil, pine nuts, garlic, olive oil, parmesan ( I'm using less expensive grated one which is not good), salt and pepper. I don't think there are special secrets how to make better pesto. I've never ever eaten authentic one. But to me what I'm doing is pretty acceptable. After eating pasta with pesto genovese I felt that it is a very healthy and stimulating food. Just perfect for a meditator.

BKS Iyengar

2009-08-17T06:04:00.000-07:00

I used to be Mr. Iyengar's admirer when practiced hatha yoga. I even visited his home in Puna which is a yoga studio at the same time. Couldn't get a permission to study there. I saw him walking by with a very displeased impression on his face. He was constantly in motion, restless.

Now his silhouette has faded in my mind. He has been my virtual teacher for a while. Now I 'm going on my own.

He is an interesting case as he stands for complete integrity of yoga. Just like me but in opposite direction- from the right to the left as in an arabic language.

He saw the conflict between multiple asanas and meditation. Standing for total integrity of yoga, he often ridiculed meditation practice calling mere sitting practice as sterile, dull and good for lazy yogis. In one interview he intentionally said " medication...er meditation" to show his attitude.

He argues that any multiple asana performed to the maximum and with dedication can become meditative. Meditation in action ( in different asanas) is sharper and more penetrative and vibrant than sleepy sitting in an asana. "Lazy yogis" ignore body and hence can't really achieve higher goals of yoga.

His logic to my opinion is on extreme side. He underestimates the power of conciousness to overcome body limitations. And yet he himself never practiced meditation and couldn't realise its hidden potential. His extreme side of logic is that to achieve stillness you have to resort to the most difficult method just like kaula yogis which appear on public as weak minded or as if drunken.

The simple logic says that to achieve stillness of mind you should better first still your body and work to improve the stillness of body even further. Good words from commentary to "Yoga Sutras" by Dennis Hill:

"In the practice of asana, the body, having attained stillness,
teaches the mind the same stillness. Similarly, the mind can never become steady
and comfortable until the body is so conditioned. Each asana is a meditation posture,
and each meditation is an asana of the mind."

But what is important is that when you still your body then hidden proccesses take place. The vital energy intensifies and finds different channels in a body which stays immobile for a long time which reminds me an embryo condition.

Swami Shivananda

2009-08-13T08:50:00.000-07:00

When I practiced hatha yoga I was disappointed when I first saw Shivananda's photos. I saw a bald abdominous man with a very naive eyes but not a proper hatha yogi. But later when I started to appreciate meditation I understood what he was actually teaching. His main message was meditation in a tantric form.

the simpler approach

2009-08-13T08:27:00.000-07:00

Besides the Iyengar's book I also have the Swami Vishnu-devananda's book "The Completed Book of Yoga" which was considered as the Bible of yoga when first published. It has only few pages dedicated to pranayama. I followed his very compact explanations and started to do exersises which immediately brought the positive effect. While Iyengar's basic course is preliminary and teaches mainly to observe ( yet it takes a lot of time) Vishnu-devanada gives straitforwardly the core alternate breathing technique which he divided into three steps.

the technique of pranayama

2009-08-13T07:17:00.000-07:00

I practiced pranayama for half a year using the famous book of BKS Iyengar "Light on Pranayama". It is amazing how a very sophisticated book thoroughly written and structured can lead to nowhere or can be fruitless. Was it me who failed or was it the book's fault?

It was both my and the book's fault. My experience tells me that another method clicked with me while Iyengar's approach not only was fruitless but instead brought negative results despite my carefull practice. To say more correctly it is his link of pranayama to multiple asanas which I don't appreciate. If you are an Iyengar yoga student then you have to follow his method as closely as possible. It means that I had to gave up Iyengar yoga to make advantage of lotus meditation. That is why when I recently felt that I can add pranayama to my practice I decided to dismiss the Iyengar's book.

kafkian

2009-08-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

Kafka thought using simple words but his arrangement of words was amazing. He was a very weak personality, unconfident, unattractive but surprisingly equipped with a sharp and melancholic mind.

my equipment

2009-08-12T07:36:00.000-07:00

My equipment consists of several things : yoga mat Nike ( bought in Delhi for 40 $, like it very much), lap robe or blunket folded with great care ( matches the same grey color with the mat), couple of books for my left knee support ( sorry, books, for inappropriate usage) and the watches to check how long I had been sitting.

Ugly old linoleum serves as the shabby background.

pranayama and lotus meditation

2009-08-05T07:34:00.000-07:00

In hatha yoga the practice of pranayama (yogic breathing) is tightly connected with the practice of multiple yogic postures (asanas). It is considered that if you have mastered asanas then you could begin to practice pranayama.

My experience is different.

When I practiced various asanas ( which didn't help me to overcome lust) I also tried to practice pranayama for half a year but didn't get any positive results.

Then I gave up hatha yoga ( multiple asanas) and began to practice only one which is lotus. The practice of lotus immediately resulted in two very surprising outcomes: my lust decreased and breathing became deeper which helped me to recuperate from the sinus inflammation.

This two outcomes led me to effective pranayama. Though I am practicing it for a short period of time ( just for 2 month) nevertheless I immediately felt the positive tonic effect.

Thus, I came to the conclusion that it is a confusion that pranayama is nessesary connected to the multiple asanas practice. In fact, it's been a big debate about the right definition of asana depending to which yogic school do you belong.

Many think that initially "asana" meant a sitting meditative posture and that later multiple postures were invented.

My experience tells me that lotus meditation is a perfect match to pranayama. This match is more harmonious than the connection of multiple asanas and pranayama. In the modern busy time you can't combine multiple asanas with lotus sitting which both and each require dedication and much time.

I do pranayama at the end of lotus meditation which is about one hour. During this period my breathing becomes deeper and lungs tone up. That's a great preparation before doing pranayama. Yet I am staying all this time in a tranquil and immovable state which is natural for pranayama.

It's difficult to combine energetic practice of multiple asanas with the tranquil meditative practice of pranayama. Furthermore, they have expanded and intensified the practice of multiple asanas to a such extent (especially in Ashtanga vinyasa yoga) which makes the practice of pranayama a heroic attempt.

the breakthrough

2009-08-02T09:03:00.000-07:00

What to my opinion is the breakthrough in struggling with sexual indulgence?

When you lose semen often you can't recuperate.

When you begin to abstain and make intervals between ejaculations wider then you can save some of your vital energy.

When you feel that you are free from strong sexual desire and that feeling of freedom is steady then it's the breakthrough. Your vital energy is enough to begin developing your mind and body in positive direction.

lotus vs other yoga postures

2009-08-02T08:30:00.000-07:00

Though lotus and siddhasana contract perineum area diminishing sexual desire, other yoga postures or asanas have the same effect. There are a variety of such asanas which were designed to impact perineum and lower abdomen (see turtoise pose above performed by Swami Sachidanand). But practically all of them are very difficult to perform. And what is important you can't stay in them for a long period.

To my view, when contraction and upward pressure on perineum take a considerable period of time then it is effective. Sitting in lotus every day for one hour at a time strengthens perineum area and later mind adjusts to this new feeling. To the feeling that your lower part of the body is locked and there is no way for your semen to leave your body. This idea sets gradually in your mind and later leads to a breakthrough.

siddhasana

2009-08-01T09:41:00.000-07:00

I consider this sitting posture as an alternative to lotus. It is even more explicit in the sense of sexuality than lotus. You can understand that reading standard descriptions of it.

Siddhasana:

a meditative seating posture in which the left heel presses the perineum (stimulating the mooladhara chakra); also called as the adept's pose or the 'pose of perfection'.

per·i·ne·um the area between the anus and the posterior part of the external genitalia

Lotus makes perineum to contract slightly. While in siddhasana you press perineum with your heel. The effect is similar: to contract perineum area so that sexual energy is blocked on its way to a sexual organ.

This contraction of perineum in yogic terminology is called mula (moola) bandha. When you sit in lotus your perineum area is slightly automatically contracted. It is not mula bandha fully performed though. But it is enormously effective. In fact, mula bandha is proper when perineum is contracted by force. It is usually performed during pranayama.

my yoga experience

2009-08-01T07:19:00.000-07:00

When I kept losing my semen and hence my vital energy I practiced hatha-yoga for several years. I even went to India twice and practiced there at the foothills of Himalayas in Rishikesh which is 8 hours by bus from Delhi.

Why did I go to Rishikesh? Mainly because of Swami Shivananda who wrote a big deal on yoga. Presumably some books with his name on the cover don't belong to him but to his disciples ( see Georg Feuerstein's "The yoga tradition"). Anyway Swami praised Rishikesh for its unique meditative atmosphere which now is not as meditative as it used to be.

The intensive courses there at the "Yoga Study Centre" (yoga teacher Rudra) were great and brought a big deal of relief to my undermined mind and body.

Though yoga diminished some of my stresses it didn't help me to take control over my lust. And I was very surprised when at the beginning of my lotus sitting I felt that my sexual desire weakened. I couldn't achieve that during my several years of hatha-yoga.

It was better to concentrate on the practice which was more effective for my needs and I gave up hatha-yoga which deals whith many different postures. Instead, I concentrated on one: lotus.

Actually in yoga texts lotus and another one- sidhasana are considered as the main postures. And interestingly both of them diminish sexual desire and help to take control over it.

sexual indulgence is natural for men

2009-07-30T08:41:00.000-07:00

There is no secret that male's sexuality is highly explicit and of pretty wild character.

In a male, sexual desire is so intense that it often comes out of control. There are really weird cases when , for example, one unattractive japanese guy got fascinated with western women to such extent that he killed and ate one french girl in France.

It is considered that marriage should restrain male's sexuality to one woman. And it is true. But it's true only in general. If you take a closer look at any personal life of a male you'll see turbulence (more or less powerful) in sexual domain. The nature of male's sexuality is turbulent and is extremely difficult to control.

Actually, you may easily notice that turbulence is an attribute of every activity involving strong pleasure. People die or degrade from alcoholism, drug addiction and overeating.

What is interesting that all these potentially dangerous pleasures are main attractions of life for a modern young individual.

I would rather follow my own path. This path of sexual desire transformation will make me happier. I hope so! My method is not only to constrain sexual desire but it is efforts to absorb sexual energy for the needs of my body and mind.

lotus is uncool

2009-07-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

Interestingly, there are two big groups which follow eastern spirituality and which successfully avoid lotus practice. The first group is more earthly and exploits human body in a very dynamic form ( hatha-yoga, tai chi). They regard meditation as excessively spiritual or dull and even risky practice for mental health.

The second group is so concentrated on spiritual aspect that it neglects physical techniques including lotus posture. They say that you can meditate on a chair, while walking etc. and only your dedication to the spirit matters.

Lotus is still unexplored territory . As I wrote above there are many ways to somehow avoid exploring it.

There is beauty in doing hatha-yoga, all that cool postures in which you feel good and look good as well. You visibly improve your flexibility, strength and endurance.

There is also beauty and expression in high brow spirituality. You are all serenity, purity and joy. And it is very praiseworthy.

But what is beautiful or exciting in sitting in lotus? Isn't it pretty silly and useless?

And yes, there is not enough to attract people to lotus practice. What can normal people take from it? We do see that some very strange people, hairy and half naked, in India sit in lotus. But we are different and live in different society.

I have to admit that lotus practice is of questionable merit. But what is amasing that according to my experience lotus is virtually single effective antidote to sexual indulgence. Well, it's not true. There is another one...castration.

lotus improves breathing

2009-07-28T09:51:00.000-07:00

Masturbation have affected my brain, sucked energy from solar plexus (which is battery for our body) and weakened my lungs.

When I practiced hatha-yoga ( Iyengar style) I tried to practice pranayama ( yogic breathing) for half a year but didn't get any positive results. My yoga didn't help me to cope with sexual desire. Furthermore, I got injured in the lower part of the backbone and had to give up practicing hatha-yoga.

Instead, I consentrated on sitting in lotus which helped me to recover from the sinusitis. Lotus brings about deep breathing which not only helped me to recover from the sinusitis but interestingly I have never had snots even when got a flu since my practice of lotus commenced.

The longer you sit in lotus the stronger impact on lungs. Now I can sit in lotus for about 60-70 minutes. I have always felt the tonic strenthening effect on lungs so that recently I dared to intensify my practice by adding specific yogic breathing.

"mini" masturbation

2009-07-27T09:08:00.000-07:00

The only thing which had been getting me even to present time was that though I didn't ejaculate as often as I used to, I still excited my sexual desire with some rubbing of my penis practically everyday ( without ejaculation). This weakness inevitably happened when I was waking up from sleep. During this uncertain short period my body automatically turned on a belly with consequent rubbing while my imagination was playing over same ol' dirty scenes. My will power refused to act during this periods of awakening.

And I want to tell you that during last 10 days I have been staying free from this mini masturbation. What has been the cause?

More than a month ago I made a very important step forward. I have begun to practice pranayama or yogic breathing.

how lotus brought immediate effect

2009-07-27T08:59:00.000-07:00

I could easily sit in lotus when I was a child. But I couldn't imagine the potential of it.

When I began practicing lotus 3 years ago I immediately felt that my sexual desire decreased. I could sit at that time for about 20 minutes.

Why did I begin to meditate? My incentives were unclear and rather instinctive. At that time I was suffering from sinusitis in a very acute form. They pierced a cartilage in my nose with a hollow needle in a hospital. The effort from an apprentice doctor was not single to say it softly. The sinus was washed away from pus with a yellow solution.

I was shocked by pain. I felt defeated because my several years of hatha-yoga practice had led me to nowhere. It's been pain but no gain.

When I left the hospital the inflammation was still there. I started to practice lotus inspired by a book of a chinese daosism master. At the beginning I was able to sit for 10-15 minutes. To my surprise I discovered that the sexual desire which for many years had been eating off my mind and body decreased. At that time this alleviation was far from a breakthrough. The important immediate result was that an interval between ejaculation widened from once a week to once in two weeks and so forth as practice proceeded. Now I can abstain from ejaculation for 3-5 months. During these intervals I recuperate and accumulate energy.

The longer the intervals between ejaculations then the less is the power of a bad habit. You can break this chain of repetitive inevitable masturbations by widening intervals and after persistent efforts what seemed inevitable would become tameable. By the way it's true to any bad habit: would it be alcoholism, drug addiction etc.

here it is: lotus

2009-07-27T08:10:00.000-07:00

That's what I have been talking about. Lotus position. Be careful when learning it. Train gradually, avoid pain. Don't practice at unappropriate places like rocks. It looks cool on the rocks beside a river though. (above Swami Sachidanand).

My History of Losing Semen

2009-07-24T09:32:00.001-07:00

When I got started to masturbate in my teenage years I ejaculated in 3 days, sometimes twice a day. At the beginning I recuperated pretty fast but after a couple of years my health began to deteriorate. Obviously the vital energy was leaving me which resulted in serious flaws of my mind and body. I began to think visibly slower , my my body got visibly weaker. After every ejaculation I got in the condition of weakness and depression. Thus, I turned into a depressed and weak young man with lack of confidence.

Gosh, my history of masturbation is almost two decades! It's apalling!

It's been stagnation and depression all years through. Sometimes I felt that I was going to die and yes, I was killing myself.

As a drug taker burns inside with a desire for more excitement, I have been burning with sexual desire. My mind was overflowed with dirty pictures. And I kept losing semen which is vital energy.

There is an eastern esoteric saying: "Loss of semen brings death closer." That's exactly my case.

But my experience is not an unending failure. It's been resistance and slow but steady alleviation and transformation at the end.

lotus radically weakens sexual desire ( a breakthrough)

2009-07-22T09:27:00.000-07:00

This quality of the very specific sitting position named lotus or padmasana was overlooked, surprisingly. It is just said that lotus brings steadiness to a body while sitting for a long period.

For those suffering from hypersexuality it could and shoud be a panacea. For me and my fellow sufferers it's definitely a breakthrough.

Not a lotus yet (on the photo).

orgasmania and brain cancer?

2009-07-18T08:08:00.000-07:00

Can highly repetitive orgasm lead toward brain cancer? Very likely but difficult to prove. I have recently read an article of some american sexologist that this is very possible. Orgasm intoxicates ( just like a drug) a brain with chemical substance which makes us experience sexual pleasure. Any pleasure has an addictive nature, therefore too much of chemical changes in a brain can bring as an offset another one, namely tumor.

Scary, isn't it?

addiction to orgasm undermines your health

2009-07-17T08:21:00.000-07:00

In my middle-school years I discovered the pleasure of orgasm in the form of masturbation. Since then I never stopped and never felt healthy. I got addicted. This is a very personal thing. A failure which shouldn't be told to a stranger.

I got affected and addicted in a stronger way than average level. Therefore, I had to look for a stronger medicine.

This medicine appeared in somewhat trivial form, which is widely known as meditation. Unfortunately, such a very sophisticated technique have been reduced to banality during last few decades which is not surprising.

too much of finance

2009-07-16T09:19:00.000-07:00

Currently I'm reading Hyman Minsky's regarded seminal work "Stabilizing an Unstable Economy"(1986) which gives rather critical view on the nature of finance. Minsky says that the capitalist economy have unavoidable tendency toward instability which undermines relative wealth and relative tranquility. And that strong intervention and supervision needed to help.

My interest is not economical but human body which has tendency toward instability and even destruction when given too much freedom.